stayed up all the way till 3pm and went off to brother's engagement preparation.
it was all sunny and dry till bout 3.30 and it started raining super heavily, and i really mean super.
Trees fell and hit cars,
dustbins FLYING around.
It's like im in a typhoon.

luckily everything went well in the end,
meanwhile korkor and sis-in-law had their ceremony i was sitting alone and crying to myself.
Why cant grandpa just wait for just 1 more day to be the witness, at least im sure that he'll be able to move on even more peacefully than now.
and soon after that, they went for the tea ceremony.
Korkor worked really hard to keep that smile going, till the moment where he had to kneel down in front of sis-in-law's grandparents to serve them tea.
That was when everybody in the room started crying.
Because grandpa was supposed to be there as well.
He was supposed to drink that cup of tea and yet, he just had to pass on.
Sad yet true. I really could see the sadness in korkor's eye.
It was really depressing.

After that went back home with mom and dad and changed our clothes.
off again, but this time to the funeral wake.
Once we reached there, mama and i went to see grandpa.
even before i can see him, i broke out alr.
i felt the biggest guilt ever in my life.
I just cant bring myself to look face to face to him, but in the end i still did.
Cos i really dont want to lose that handsome image in my mind.
He seemed really peaceful and i really hope that it is true.
I kneeled down in front of gonggong, and just started apologizing and apologizing and apologizing.
till uncle had to carry me up and put me onto the chair, cos apparently mama tried to pull me away but i resisted.. quite hardly i supposed.

The guys came down tonight to visit me and to see gonggong, really appreciate that ALOT.
Thanks guys for coming down even though you all know that mama's a racist. i really really needed that. and thank you all for cheering me up. i really feel so much better now.

And to OinkyBbyBucuk2SygSygSyg, please don be sad that you aren't able to come down.
It's not your fault at all k? and i'll be just fine. Grandma's more important at this point of time my dear. i dont want you to feel that guilt like how i'm feeling right now. okay? =))

so yeah, off to sleep man. really need some rest. damn damn long and tiring day.

takings!