Slept at 1am, woken up by mom at 3am.

and she said "dix, your granddad just passed away"
i was like "what?" and put on a strong front and consoled my mom.
" don worry laa, everything will be alright. we cant spoil korkor's( my elder brother ) big day.
Mama was like.. "yeah , i'll be fine"
and went back to her room.

I woke up ,
stared through my window,
and into the deep blue sky.
I wondered to myself and said,
Is it just a dream or..
is reality really that harsh.
I punched the wall with as much force as i have.
and just when that happened,
something slapped me real hard.
guess what,
It's reality.
I walked to the kitchen, to get a drink.
and without realising,
my cup was already full of tears.
As I feel those little droplets of sadness roll down my cheeks.
i felt a hand landed on my shoulder,
a feeling of comfort.
and it's Mama.
Mama said "Son, don't be like this. You're the one who told me to be strong. You have to be strong too yeah?"
I couldn't control my movements, i couldn't control my feelings.
and neither can i control the lost in me.
I knelt on the floor , looked into the sky.
Kow-towed 3 times and said "Sorry gonggong(grandpa) , I shouldn't have made you angry on your last day"

A mix of emotions are running through my body now, which explains the sickness.
Sadness
Fear
Guilt
but yet Happy.

All the Best to Korkor's Engagement.
and Rest in peace my beloved Grandpa.

Dixon OCY.